Search for commonly asked questions
Being Seen, Heard, and Respected: Gender Identity and Expression in Home Sharing
Everyone deserves to be seen, heard, and respected for who they are. In a home sharing setting, where someone lives with a caregiver or support person, it’s important to support each person’s gender identity and expression. When people feel respected, they’re more likely to feel safe, confident, and happy in their daily lives.
What Is Gender Identity and Expression?
- Gender identity is a person’s inner sense of being male, female, both, neither, nor somewhere in between.
- Gender expression is how someone shows their gender to others through clothes, hair, voice, or behavior.
Some people are cisgender (their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth). Others are transgender, non-binary, Two-Spirit, or gender-diverse. There is no one “right” way to look or act. Everyone expresses themselves in their own way.
Why It Matters in Shared Living
In home sharing, the person you support may need help with daily tasks, but they also need support for who they are. If their gender identity isn’t respected, they might feel unsafe, anxious, or invisible. Respecting gender identity is a basic part of inclusive care.
Example
Leo, a non-binary person living in Vancouver, uses they/them pronouns. At their last home sharing placement, their caregiver kept calling them “she,” even after being corrected. Leo felt hurt and stopped speaking up. In their current home, their provider asked, “How can I support your gender identity?” and made sure everyone in the house used the right pronouns. Leo now feels proud to be themselves and more connected at home.
How to Support Gender Identity and Expression
- Ask and Use Correct Pronouns
- It’s okay to ask, “What pronouns do you use?”
- Practice using them. If you make a mistake, correct yourself and keep going.
- Respect Names and Appearance
- Use the name the person chooses.
- Don’t question clothing, hairstyle, or voice. Those are personal expressions of identity.
- Avoid Assumptions
- Don’t assume gender based on appearance.
- Let the person share what they want, when they’re ready.
- Create a Safe Environment
- Offer gender-neutral bathroom options if possible.
- Include inclusive visuals (like posters or stickers that say “All Genders Welcome”).
What To Do If You Make a Mistake
Everyone slips up sometimes. What matters is how you respond:
- Say, “I’m sorry,” and use the right word next time.
- Don’t over-apologize or make it about you.
- Keep learning and doing better.
Mistakes are part of growth. Listening and trying again shows respect.
Resources by Region
To support safe and welcoming spaces across British Columbia, we’ve compiled regional resources for 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals and their allies:
South Fraser:
- Pflag Surrey: Support groups for families and allies of 2SLGBTQ+ people in Fraser Valley.
- Sher Vancouver: Peer support and anti-bullying programs for LGBTQ+ South Asians.
- Fraser Valley Youth Society (FVYS): Programs and support for LGBTQ2S+ youth and allies.
- Trans Care BC is a provincial service dedicated to supporting trans, Two-Spirit, and non-binary people across British Columbia. They provide access to gender-affirming healthcare, including hormone therapy, surgery guidance, and help with changing names and gender markers on IDs. Trans Care BC also offers education, peer support, and resources tailored for Indigenous people, newcomers, neurodivergent individuals, and people with disabilities. Located on the unceded ancestral territories of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh Nations, they work to create inclusive, respectful care pathways and community connections throughout B.C.
Southern Interior:
- Kamloops Pride: Resource directory and events supporting 2SLGBTQIA+ community.
- Interior Crisis Line Network (ICLN): 24/7 crisis support services.
- Living Out Visibly & Engaged (LOVE): Support and education for LGBTQ+ community in Central Okanagan.
North & Thompson Cariboo:
- Pathways BC – Thompson Region: Support and education promoting inclusion for LGBTQ+ individuals.
- Interior Crisis Line Network (ICLN): 24/7 crisis support.
Vancouver Coastal West:
- Prism Services (Vancouver Coastal Health): Education, referrals, and training for LGBTQ2Q+ communities.
- City of Vancouver – 2SLGBTQIA+ Community Resources: Support for local 2SLGBTQIA+ services.
Vancouver Coastal East:
- QMUNITY: BC’s queer, trans, and Two-Spirit resource centre offering counselling, training, and peer support.
- Out on the Shelves: LGBTQ2IA+ library and resource centre.
- Spartacus Books: Volunteer-run bookstore with LGBTQ literature and community resources.
Vancouver Island:
- Island Sexual Health Society: Sexual health and gender-affirming care services.
- QCHAT: Peer support for LGBTQ2S youth in BC.
- Vancouver Island Queer Resource Collective: Help with queer resources and support.
- LOVE LGBTQ2s Vancouver Island Community Response Network: Support and advocacy for 2SLGBTQI+ people on Vancouver Island and Gulf Islands.